I am not trying to brake check people and get in an accident but I would very much like a signal for "Please remove your car from my butthole, it's getting uncomfortable."

How would that work? On the highway, a slight nudge on a straight means you'll cross a lane, meaning turn signals on.

A kilometer later, the exact same slight nudge could mean it's just a light turn in the road, meaning signals off.

Now you could mandate cameras in all vehicles, which analyze your driving and turn on the turn signals when it thinks you're making a turn. Now who's responsible in a false positive if someone else dodges you and crashes because you suddenly turned on the signals without turning? Except it wasn't you, but your car. Oh and also you made entry level cars 10k more expensive, making them way more inaccessible if you aren't rich.

CB radios often had a "PA" switch that sent your microphone audio to a loudspeaker under the hood

We used to roll those back in the day. A friend gave my very drunk self a lift home one evening and I used it to give commentary to a group of revellers on the side of the road... who threw a beer bottle at us, and then chased the car which luckily didn't get stopped at the traffic light nearby.

Good times.

These exist. I used to deliver pizza and one of my coworkers installed one of these on their car.

They'll likely give those front brake lights an amber color

Yes, and an oil slick button that drops some oil on the road for the hard of hearing tail rider.

Nah not at all tbh, you can get very smooth deceleration with it and it doesn't feel floaty or whatever, it does take a tiny adjustment to how you drive, you don't coast anymore but rather you can finely control your deceleration by how much you lift the accelerator, it's quite nice to be honest I always drive it in that mode (even if it's not real one pedal).

Like this?

I think personally I would go with this though

(/s cause it is probably needed)

This is definitely a thing. I had a friend in high-school who put a loud speaker in his 69 Tempest. He was funny too. He would say the silliest things to people.

Liknks or didn't happen

Wouldn’t better driving education and testing work just as well, if not better?

Maybe introducing driving lessons on the read and done by professionals all over the world would already change a lot. That and the introduction of better road systems like roundabouts, reducing road traffic by adding public transport and walkable/bikeable area's etc.

Shut up nerd

I've never done it, but I wonder if turning on the rear fog lights would work. You're not braking, but they might think you are. I don't know what the legality of that would be

Yeah, just have an accelerometer that triggers them

100% agree, but it's amazing how quickly some people forget their education once they get out on the road, especially after a few years accumulating bad habits. How about less reliance on cars in the first place?

The combined indicator/brake light thing you guys do is fucking stupid, so there's a precedent.

Pretend to suddenly avoid a pothole.

Now imagine everyone having one. Yeah, nah.