Fill them with farts and then pass them around to friends.

I hate the fan buffeting noise, and would be happy to have a fan that doesn't do that. Not $500 happy, mind you.

With all the wildfire smoke in the air, I'm actually sorta interested in these now. I wonder if you can get em cheap.

As a person that does electronic repair, let me just tell you what pieces of shit dysons are from a design standpoint.

They are the most over engineered, Fancy pants pieces of shit that are designed to sell, not to use.

Let me give you an example... One of the most popular posts on the Dyson YouTube page, is how to get the hose out of the machine. Yes that's right, they needed a fucking video tutorial for one of the most common complaints, people can't even use the goddamn things!

And then when you want to repair them, you are looking at 2 hours of meticulously dismanting a giant block of unnecessarily complicated Lego to access one tiny piece.

Dysons are absolute pieces of shit from every measurable perspective. With the exception of one thing: the motors do provide good suction, but they're nothing special, no more suction than any standard motor. They overhyped the electronic switching of the DC motor to the point that people actually believed it! It's a fucking standard DC motor!!!! Essentialy. A vacuum is not the correct application for this kind of technology.

Compare a Dyson's engineering with a simple device like a Bissell or a shark, which you can completely dismantle and reassemble in like 10 minutes.

You can't even replace a tiny hose piece on a Dyson without 2 hours, and many specialized tools.

Edit: to underscore what gigantic pieces of shit they are, I actually, through my electronics repair, got a $700 Dyson for free... Original owner effectively discarded it because it was plugged with a sock in the tube. Anyways, after I fixed it, I tried to use it in my apartment. I sold it. Fucking piece of unusable shite. As a person that does a ton of electronics repair and appliance repair and refurbishing, you start to develop a sense in your mind about what's going through the designer's head. And when I work on dysons, all I think about is how some jackass who knows AutoCAD, was given free rein to do what he wants, and you ended up with these spaceship looking lumps of garbage that nobody can use.

Edit 2: oh my God I can't believe I forgot about the fish hook connectors! On the power head of every upright Dyson that I've recently serviced... They are designed with hooks at the back that fucking catch on everything! A perfect example what I'm saying, some jack off who just learned AutoCAD, thinking he's a designer. Nobody puts backward-facing hook "styling" on a vacuum power head - except Dyson! They absolutely suck and I can go on and on but I'm going to stop now.

Edit 3: I can't stop. I forgot that my sister has run a local cleaning company for 20 years. She has rich-ass customers and she's been given Dysons by people with way too much money, which she immediately sold without opening the box. And she is absolutely NOT the only one... I can say this with surety as I often sell/fix for small cleaning companies. Professional cleaners -refuse- to use Dyson vacuums.

7000 is barely anything

I missed that Dyson had sued people for calling him out on his hypocrisy. What a complete piece of shit that guy is.

Well, I'm not surprised sadly.

I'm not trying to have a big hate on for Dyson but

They patented a new DC switching motor

It had the potential to revolutionize so many industries

Instead of licensing the tech out ... They decided to make vacuums and hand dryers

The company is run by imbeciles

Dyson has inhaled too much ozone from electric motors.

Is this 100% joke or is there really a Brazil 2 underway? I feel like the world needs a mirror held up to it in the form of a Brazil 2 more than ever.

Wealthy Republicans have them working on a filtered and thermocontrolled chastity belt as top priority.

Just imagine blasting monstrous cloud farts that smell like strawberries with a hint of shitting in the woods

It was a joke. I feel like we're all living Brazil 2.

I would strongly recommend you watch some reviews first. It does not seal around the mouth and nose. It is just a fan that makes a constant stream of air to your face, drying inside of your nose, making you more vulnerable to airborne viruses, which would also help the ash go deeper into your lungs.

My regular run of the mill butt plug drives the dogs nuts every time I rip a mean one.

Do companies release these nonsensical products as justification to squat on patents?

Try this invention from 1977!

(I love an excuse to bring up my favorite thing out of the US Patent database.)

Do you know if they ever ended up making any of these? I'm struggling to really understand "non-adhesive adherence" as well as other parts of that abstract

That and sometimes R&D are given funds to fuck around with, worst case scenario nothing comes of it best case they make a massive return on investment. Sometimes you need to throw together a prototype to see if anything out of it is useful, sure the device as a whole may be pointless but maybe someone stumbled upon a useful quick release concept.