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Men are opening up about mental health to AI instead of humans

Technology
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  • A profound relational revolution is underway, not orchestrated by tech developers but driven by users themselves. Many of the 400 million weekly users of ChatGPT are seeking more than just assistance with emails or information on food safety; they are looking for emotional support.

    “Therapy and companionship” have emerged as two of the most frequent applications for generative AI globally, according to the Harvard Business Review. This trend marks a significant, unplanned pivot in how people interact with technology.

    What a clickbait. Of course people are picking feee resource with zero friction over 120$ an hour half a day event.

  • Look, if you can afford therapy, really, fantastic for you. But the fact is, it's an extremely expensive luxury, even at poor quality, and sharing or unloading your mental strain with your friends or family, particularly when it is ongoing, is extremely taxing on relationships. Sure, your friends want to be there for you when they can, but it can put a major strain depending on how much support you need. If someone can alleviate that pressure and that stress even a little bit by talking to a machine, it's in extremely poor taste and shortsighted to shame them for it. Yes, they're willfully giving up their privacy, and yes, it's awful that they have to do that, but this isn't like sharing memes... in the hierarchy of needs, getting the pressure of those those pent up feelings out is important enough to possibly be worth the trade-off. Is it ideal? Absolutely not. Would it be better if these systems were anonymized? Absolutely. But humans are natural anthropomorphizers. They develop attachments and build relationships with inanimate objects all the time. And a really good therapist is more a reflection for you to work through things yourself anyway, mostly just guiding your thoughts towards better patterns of thinking. There's no reason the machine can't do that, and while it's not as good as a human, it's a HUGE improvement on average over nothing at all.

    therapy does not have to be expensive.

    around 70% of my caseload is Medicaid and they don't pay a dime. the remainder is mostly DOC (prison), they only pay if we charge No Show fee. so they pay to not go to therapy. There's 1-2 people who are funded by the county. they pay a $7 copay per session

    Therapy isn't expensive, luigi is.

    As far as efficacy, we don't even have data suggesting AI therapy is effective. we have ample data, however, showing that the most important part of therapy is not what you do but the relationship itself. not individual efforts. so your theory about what therapy does for us is wrong. there's no relationship with an LLM. we have no reason to believe it would be any better than a paper journal and a CBT worksheet.

  • Have you ever considered not being like this?

    probably not but that's because sexism against men is normalized and you're not allowed to talk about it unless you're a neonazi for some reason.

    side note, this is exactly why the "young broccoli haired boy to fascist brownshirt" pipeline exists. they have real and genuine issues and instead of getting any sort of community or support virtually every facet of society is telling them their issues are fake and that they are destined to be monsters. then someone like j peterson comes along and tells them "life isn't so bad, it's okay, just clean your room and be disciplined, it'll all start to look up soon champ.. and uh... also hate the gays, black people, and other minorities - they're the woke mob that left you abandoned like this!" people making shocked pikachu face at young men being hardcore MAGAts are so sorely out of touch with what being a man is like and the kinds of trauma that can stem from the male experience. it's obvious to most of us why this issue exists, i hope. this comment chain is a great example. if you even touch the topic you get barraged with people telling you to essentially shut the fuck up and stop entertaining the idea that men are possibly people too and not some root of all fucking evil in the world.

    the amount of literal hate I see towards men in casual discourse is insane. can say the most psychotic shit in most circles nowadays but if you point your malice at the "right kinds" of people most won't even bat an eye. see people frequently talking about doing unhinged shit to others solely because they are a man or [insert other group they don't like generally for some stupid fucking reason] and there is a preconceived slight, danger, or aggression. leftists think they're better people morally but we're really not. i have seen the exact same bullshit bigotry promulgate every community i know of in the past few years. the same brainrot the conservatives have had since the tea partiers has infiltrated our spaces too. everyone genuinely is dumb, angry, and hateful now.

    I am not wholly convinced that our culture being the target of multiple astroturfing campaigns hasn't degraded people's capability for nuance, compassion, empathy, and ontology.

  • yep, if someone disagrees with me, it's usually because they're unhinged. People rarely know things that I don't, because I am very smart. there's no way that anyone downvoted that post because it makes statements that are inconsistent with the current scientific knowledge around this subject, because no such knowledgeable exists. I know this because if it did exist i would know about it, as I'm very smart. my AI therapist told me so. and i see nothing wrong with that post. so anyone who does must be a fool.

  • probably not but that's because sexism against men is normalized and you're not allowed to talk about it unless you're a neonazi for some reason.

    side note, this is exactly why the "young broccoli haired boy to fascist brownshirt" pipeline exists. they have real and genuine issues and instead of getting any sort of community or support virtually every facet of society is telling them their issues are fake and that they are destined to be monsters. then someone like j peterson comes along and tells them "life isn't so bad, it's okay, just clean your room and be disciplined, it'll all start to look up soon champ.. and uh... also hate the gays, black people, and other minorities - they're the woke mob that left you abandoned like this!" people making shocked pikachu face at young men being hardcore MAGAts are so sorely out of touch with what being a man is like and the kinds of trauma that can stem from the male experience. it's obvious to most of us why this issue exists, i hope. this comment chain is a great example. if you even touch the topic you get barraged with people telling you to essentially shut the fuck up and stop entertaining the idea that men are possibly people too and not some root of all fucking evil in the world.

    the amount of literal hate I see towards men in casual discourse is insane. can say the most psychotic shit in most circles nowadays but if you point your malice at the "right kinds" of people most won't even bat an eye. see people frequently talking about doing unhinged shit to others solely because they are a man or [insert other group they don't like generally for some stupid fucking reason] and there is a preconceived slight, danger, or aggression. leftists think they're better people morally but we're really not. i have seen the exact same bullshit bigotry promulgate every community i know of in the past few years. the same brainrot the conservatives have had since the tea partiers has infiltrated our spaces too. everyone genuinely is dumb, angry, and hateful now.

    I am not wholly convinced that our culture being the target of multiple astroturfing campaigns hasn't degraded people's capability for nuance, compassion, empathy, and ontology.

    I'm here to talk if you need an ear man, I understand you and it sounds like you've been through your own personal brand of shit

    Edit: Made a com where you can talk more freely without judgement /c/reprieve@lemmy.zip

  • Or “men would rather talk to superpowered autocorrect rather than sharing their feelings with family and friends”

    yeah they are definitely making dumb choices. it's probably not because they're all just dumb though. they probably have a lot of external factors pushing them towards that decision.

    for example, many discussions tend to find ways to blame and shame them instead of responding with empathy. sort of like this comment. what benefit do you think you get by reframing things to blame the men here?

  • I go to a therapist and she treats me like a five year old.

    I can literally just read her basic CBT training online, its not hard to find.

    Then I do the excercises at home.

    CBT being basically the only kind of approach to therapy that is actually empirically shown to reliably actually help most people.

    Oh, you're seeking an therapist qualified and specialized for high functioning autists?

    There aren't any in the state anymore.

    ...

    I also think that using ChatGPT as a therapist is a fucking horrible idea, but uh, therapy in America is expensive, and often shit quality, oh and they just hand out pills that you'll become dependent on, willy nilly, as opposed to trying everything else first and using that as a last resort.

    CBT being basically the only kind of approach to therapy that is actually empirically shown to reliably actually help most people.

    what the fuck are you talking about? this is objectively incorrect based on current evidence-based practices. why the fuck are you spreading misinfo about my job?

    CBT IS NOT the only arghh omggg you must be trolling me. I'm not wasting any more on this

  • There are other causes here.

    They've been talking for a while about how the low participation in dating by Gen Z women is because they're tired of being the entire support system for men experiencing a loneliness epidemic.

    It's a lot of pressure for the women to be under, and so they're withdrawing.

    I'm guessing this is one of the driving forces as well. Lack of real, emotionally intimate human connections around them. Many men are quite fucked in that regard right now.

    because they're tired of being the entire support system for men experiencing a loneliness epidemic.

    I've got no horse in this race but it appears that 'men should not be afraid to open up' articles and tweets were followed by 'men, we are not your therapist'.

    🤷♂

  • CBT being basically the only kind of approach to therapy that is actually empirically shown to reliably actually help most people.

    Learning that as an acronym for cock and ball torture before the therapy version makes me laugh every time.

    My experience with women therapists was always about how I just wasn't paying enough attention to other people when I pointed out that the people around me weren't consistent enough to figure out their patterns. My one therapist who was a man explained that most people are just better at handling it when they were wrong and it is fine to be wrong, plus he helped me get diagnosed with ADHD instead of telling me to just try harder. I'll bet there are some therapists who are women who are just as good as he was, but it became pretty clear that social norms are just as hard for people who specialize in behaviors to overcome.

    what makes you think their gender is even relevant to their practice?

  • Also talking to ChatGPT, if done anonymously, won’t ruin your career.

    (Thinking of AD military, where they tell you help is available but in reality it will and maybe should cost you your security clearance.)

  • This is a great example of the kinds of problems that can crop up.

    Fish doesn't realize its swimming in water, kind of thing.

    One approach is basically just gaslighting you:

    The things that bother you and cause you trouble... well they just shouldn't, and you should be fine with that.

    The other approach is.... you know, actually diagnostic, and can lead to... actually useful diagnosis, and thus more specified therapy and potentially other kinds of help.

    As an autist, I've gone through many similar situations.

    Sex/Gender independent... just 90% of therapists don't get it all. Always try to diagnose me with something else, and its different every time.

    Doesn't matter that I've done the full RAADS V test and I'm basically off thr charts autistic, rofl.

    Half of them have never even heard of it, don't know anything about how diagnosing or providing help to an autistic person works at all, tend to think all autists are low functioning with very severe, general social deficits.

    Then I get stuck on ... well they will rephrsse what I just said, and say/ask it back to me, and I'll say no, no I phrased what I said specifically, because I meant exactly that.

    Then I see in their notes later that I am 'arguementative' or 'agitated' or 'aggressive'... far, fsr more often if its a woman psych/soc worker/counselor who I am... not even 'correcting', just trying to not have them put words in my mouth.

    Men tend to be less intimidated and more open to my insistance that I meant exactly what I said... and I am talking in the same voice, same mannerisms, same everything, with everyone.

    Some women get it, most don't, some men get it, most don't.

    ... But the field is vastly disproportionately populated with women.

    So the end result for a lot of guys is... hey look, another woman that isn't really listening to me.

    Then I get stuck on ... well they will rephrsse what I just said, and say/ask it back to me, and I'll say no, no I phrased what I said specifically, because I meant exactly that.

    they're checking their own understanding by giving you an opportunity to correct them. by rephrasing it identically, it doesnt build any new understanding.

    does it not matter to you to be understood by others? maybe that's why you're bashing therapy on the internet, asking for CBT worksheets instead of building rapport, and indirectly praising relationships with LLMs?

  • Well it was men's mental health month. Funny how I just found that out today. But please, let's talk about women's mental health issues.

    I thought june was pride month

  • Have we considered this may be the only time it's actually justifiable to have real people controlling the "AI". Like instead of an underpaid tech worker from the global south answering coding questions, we get therapists to pretend to be AI so men will actually talk to them.

    they better fuckin bill me for it

  • a terrible therapist at least has an ethics board

    a terrible therapist at least has evidence-based interventions on their side

    a terrible therapist at lest has the fact that ~80% of positive outcomes have nothing to do with the interventions or anything the therapist does besides show up and be cool (a statistic I remember quite well from grad school)

    AI has none of these things

    therapy isn't fucking magic. it's a relationship. you can't have a relationship with an LLM. there's no such thing as AI therapy, you're just training it to tell you about CBT worksheets while you bitch about your problems like you're in a nail salon

    The best therapist in the world can still end your career by causing your clearance to be revoked or rendering you unqualified for your unit’s mission.

    (Suicide is a big problem in the military, I lost a buddy to it.)

    The cheapest therapist in the world may still not be covered by your insurance. (And nothing you write in reply will alter that.)

    They should work to make AI therapy better while keeping it totally anonymous. If it were really good it would be the number one use for running a local and disconnected and air gapped LLM: perfectly private therapy with no “we just use telemetry to improve our product” bullshit.

    Then maybe a lot more men would seek help/talk about their thoughts and feelings.

  • "Having trouble quitting heroin? A little bit of heroin can really alleviate those cravings!"

    I mean, that is basically what maintenance programs are 😞

  • I mean, that is basically what maintenance programs are 😞

    I thought that was methadone, or did Trainspotting lie to me?

    I'd like to thank a childhood of having no friends to offer me any drugs for keeping me away from a lifetime of addiction.

  • A profound relational revolution is underway, not orchestrated by tech developers but driven by users themselves. Many of the 400 million weekly users of ChatGPT are seeking more than just assistance with emails or information on food safety; they are looking for emotional support.

    “Therapy and companionship” have emerged as two of the most frequent applications for generative AI globally, according to the Harvard Business Review. This trend marks a significant, unplanned pivot in how people interact with technology.

    The amount of sexism in this comment section is...unnerving. Does a community exist for male identifying people to talk and share their troubles in a non hostile space? If it doesn't I'll make one.

    Edit: No idea what I'm doing but /c/reprieve@lemmy.zip

  • I thought that was methadone, or did Trainspotting lie to me?

    I'd like to thank a childhood of having no friends to offer me any drugs for keeping me away from a lifetime of addiction.

    It is methadone, but that is just a synthetic opioid. They say it is slower acting, and not as euphoric, but that all changes when you bang it. Some places will watch you take it though. However most don't bother, they just want the money from the government and give you the pills.

  • I mean, to a certain degree this is broadly true.

    Like we have the numbers, younger generations are waaaay less likely to have had a relationship or sexual encounter by the same age/stage in their life as compared to previous generations, way more people just are relationship inexperienced.

    This goes for both genders/sexes, though it is more prominent with younger men than women.

    The overwhelming problem is that in the US, so much in person socialization is expensive, basically pay-gated, paywalled.

    There are very few third places you can just hang out at for no cost. Public transit sucks or is non existant, cars are super unaffordable due to collapsing economy, and all our cities are designed for using cars to drive from place to place... so very few places are actually walk-navigable...

    Everyone is increasingly overweight and overworked (or over homeworked, for students) and overstressed, so they can't or don't engage in group meet up hobbies or sports as much as they used to... and ironically even religiosity levels overall trending down means less people are going to church... all the traditional methods of getting socialization and expanding out a friend network in real life are withering.

    So, the easier path is to get your socialization, of all kinds, primarily digitally.

    But all those most common and popular ways of doing that are also massively manipulative with algos intentionally feeding you whatever ragebait slop appeals to you, personally.

    It is very ironic that, as basically a 90s kid myself, very early tech adopter... my view of the vast majority of social media now is that it is basically a mentally harmful and addictive drug that people need to detox from... but when I tell younger people that, they say things like 'its not that deep bro, everybody has a (whatever) profile'.

    There are lots of studies that show that very common levels of social media app usage... do actually reduce attention spans, spread dangerous misinformation, lower academic performance, cause negative self esteem by way of unrealistic standards, of beauty, lifestyle, wealth... brainrot is real, basically.

    Like, I am all for the TikTok ban for kids. But also ban all short form video content for kids. Instagram, Youtube shorts, whatever.

    This shit is melting peoples brains, it needs to be treated the same way you'd treat a drug epidemic.

    We are now at the point where kids give so little of a fuck, have such tiny attention spans and need for constant, rapid fire stimulation... that half of adult Americans read below a 6th grade level, 20-30% of them read below a 2nd grade level, making them functionally illiterate... and thats just with Gen Z now mostly being in those young adult numbers, its gonna be even worse when Gen Alpha graduates and starts trying to enter society/the workforce.

    EDIT:

    This isn't even broadly unprecedented.

    Look at Japan.

    Hikkikomori.

    The stagnant economy becomes overly financialized and corporatized and impossibly demanding... so people just drop out of it, or worse, kill themselves from the stress of trying to live up to its expectations...

    And well then yeah, in person socializing broadly drops, relationship dynamics become strained and morph, birth rate plummets.

    Give it 5 or 10 years and we'll have something resembling rent a boyfriend/girlfriend services and maid / stud cafes as well, as the stereotypified fascimile of socialization and having a real relstionship becomes a marketable product, and then industry.

    Maybe a few areas will even properly legalize and regulate prostitution.

    Granted, that'll be in any areas that remain even kind of blue.

    The red areas will just go full theocrat and send you to jail for masturbating, but also re-legalize child marriage, and rework marriage laws into 'covenant marriage', where basically the woman functionally cannot divorce the husband.

    In summary: cyberpunk hypercapitalism is in fact very very bad for healthy human relationship dynamics.

    Well I don't care about your anecdote about the US. That country is lost and young people feeling depressed and isolated is the least of your problems.

    Out here in actual civilization though, tik tok youth drama is not representative of reality whatsoever.

    Also you shouldn't go with US Default mode on Lemmy since you guys are a minority here. Most of us are European.

  • What a clickbait. Of course people are picking feee resource with zero friction over 120$ an hour half a day event.

    I think it's probably more complex than just money.