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Men are opening up about mental health to AI instead of humans

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  • man is conditioned from a young age not to show feelings

    I feel like you skipped over this part way too quickly. Myself and other men have been hearing things like "it's not manly to cry", "whining isn't going to do anything for you", "being weak is girly", and countless other things for my entire memorable life

    And it's not just men telling me this. It's men, women, adults, my classmates, teachers and mentors.

    It's not a good thing. And it's changing now, which is so good. But man hearing that from your earliest memories makes it really set in.

    Thank you for expanding on that point. I meant it to be a "here's how we got here" before the rest of my "this is where we are today."

    You're totally right, and any conversation about men's behavior at large should include the experiences you just described. Even though we didn't get ourselves into this situation - in that we didn't raise ourselves - we're the ones who will get us out.

  • You seem to lack empathy.

    Sure buddy keep hating women or whatever the point of your comment was.

  • Well those sound like people who aren't good to open up to.

    I do sympathize though, I pretended to be a guy for several decades, and my wife put exactly the same kind of duality on me that men put on women.

    I was expected to be sympathetic and nurturing in some contexts and aggressive, jealous, and demanding in others, and I was just supposed to know when to switch.

    And there was an amount of vulnerability I was able to display, but beyond that I'd get told to suck it up.

    I think somebody needs to come up with an ad campaign that's Therapy For Men. Big sweaty hairy guys with thick beards looking after each other's mental health like BROs. It worked to get men to use soap.

    (Seriously, I think counseling is too female-coded for a lot of men to be comfortable with it unless they're fucking the person, or they start to want to fuck the person because they're unused to talking about things).

    My mental image the solution of your last paragraph is a guy and their counsoler just chatting outside chopping firewood or other simple/quiet lawn work.

    "I need a therapist, and a lumberjack"

  • If some men thought the solution to loneliness was fucking a toaster I'd think less of them too, yeah. At least find a tool that suits the purpose, talking to the AI is just self harm.

    Again, so you think the solution to someone that self harms is to blame them for performing the act. You're a genius, you know that?

  • Please quote me. I said he's being sexist which he is.

    You're pissy, jaded and uncomfortable with the concept of being wrong. Classic men shit.

    Here you go.

  • Sure buddy keep hating women or whatever the point of your comment was.

    You really can't read, can you? My comment is simple enough it would take a cock-up of epic proportions to not get my point.

  • so are we going to help them, or are we going to wash our hands of them and let the problem fester and grow?

    incels need positive reinforcement to loop them out of their cognitive loop. not shame and harassment that further entrenches it.

    the easiest way to get someone who is hateful about some group or thing... is to introduce them to it in a positive manner.

    The problem with that is you are then putting the burden on a member of that hated group to present themselves as a paragon and suffer all the vitriol and abuse that gets hurled at them until the hateful person hopefully snaps out of it.

    Having been the sole woman in many male-dominated spaces, I gotta tell ya, it is a special kind of hell to try to be that positive example.

  • “The way I do things is how everyone should do things, because what works for me will unquestionably work for everyone else.” – You

    Imagine arguing being a nicer person is a bad thing?

  • You really can't read, can you? My comment is simple enough it would take a cock-up of epic proportions to not get my point.

    You're being a bozo. I'm arguing to be empathetic to women, you're calling that unempathetic. You don't deserve a serious reply so you didn't get one.

  • Yes that is ridiculous because the intent is to lay responsibility at women's feet, again. Like always.

    This stuff about how women see men or whatever weird breeding shit you're rambling about is irrelevant you're just trying to argue women have a choice in some weird way to make the men they want and "choose" not to. That's so silly.

    The simple fact is men are allowed to not take part in their kid's lives and having one parent do the job isn't gonna work regardless if they are male or female. As you suggested that is a comment on our social structure which i agree with but again, not what is being said in this thread it's very clear they are blaming women directly and entirely.

    Now again there's dozens of factors at play here but the bottom line is men are responsible. They hold power in society, they are allowed to disregard children and they are the ones bullying boys into being the way they are. Do women have a role in that? Sure. Is it their responsibility or fault? No that's silly as fuck especially cause most couldn't have jobs, couldn't vote and still can't do either across the globe.

    Bottom line is men are failing men and the first step to a solution is empathy especially towards women which this thread lacks hard. Women are literally the ones leading the charge in reinforcing openness and education, don't believe me? go to your local elementary school and check out how the teachers speak to kids. Some will be men most will be women and they're impressively kind and open and teaching a variety of skills to help kids be better people. Men as a whole are not doing that, in fact most men in power are actively trying not to let that happen. They call it sissyfication.

    You know what i see? Men being afraid of going alone with their kid to the park, because the mom's there believe they are a sexual predator just by gender. Men not appliying for kindergarden or school jobs because of a tendency of mothers to see every man in childcare as a pedophile. Men getting called the cops onto them in the parking lot when going to their car after shopping.

    And it's the same with violence against women - every man is automatically seen as a brutalizer, or someone who would daterape.

    As long as those prejudices exist - and they are mainly female prejudices! - men will not open up. When you are seen as a threat even if you aren't one (see the man and the bear in the woods), there is no way they will become empathic, because innocently playing with your child in the park could have lifelong consequences for you.

  • You're pissy, jaded and uncomfortable with the concept of being wrong. Classic men shit.

    Here you go.

    You just blamed all his so-called issues on him being a man.

    Ok

    You're pissy, jaded and uncomfortable with the concept of being wrong. Classic men shit.

    Not blaming him for being a man dunno how you read that, you're backwards as hell.

    He's being angry at women, classic men shit. Which is why he isn't feeling better. How did you think that's blaming him for being a man, cause I said classic men shit? Learn to read buddy

  • A profound relational revolution is underway, not orchestrated by tech developers but driven by users themselves. Many of the 400 million weekly users of ChatGPT are seeking more than just assistance with emails or information on food safety; they are looking for emotional support.

    “Therapy and companionship” have emerged as two of the most frequent applications for generative AI globally, according to the Harvard Business Review. This trend marks a significant, unplanned pivot in how people interact with technology.

    Futurama image of Fry wishing they had a robot to do stuff and Bender, a robot, agreeing

  • You're being a bozo. I'm arguing to be empathetic to women, you're calling that unempathetic. You don't deserve a serious reply so you didn't get one.

    Try reading from the start again, and maybe you'd finally be able to grasp some form of understanding. Good luck.

  • You just blamed all his so-called issues on him being a man.

    Ok

    You're pissy, jaded and uncomfortable with the concept of being wrong. Classic men shit.

    Not blaming him for being a man dunno how you read that, you're backwards as hell.

    He's being angry at women, classic men shit. Which is why he isn't feeling better. How did you think that's blaming him for being a man, cause I said classic men shit? Learn to read buddy

    Can you not tell the difference between the sentence "blame him for being a man" with "blame all his problems on him being a man"?

    True, both are sexist, but they literally mean different things. You're just proving again how you can't read.

  • I get it, but I'm not sure that "something is better than nothing" in this case. I don't judge any individual for using it, but the risks are huge, as others have documented. And the benefits are questionable.

    something is always better than nothing. esp if you are starving.

  • .

    amen to all this. i really started removing 'leftists' people from my life and it was like... so much better because so much of their entity message is just this weird revenge/hate pron against straight white men, and men in general. when ironically, the people they should be angry at are the wealthy... but honestly most of these 'leftists' I've known were trust fund kids... so that tells you right there why they would never rag on the wealthy...

    normal well adjusted people don't hate anyone or blame anyone for their problems. but for some reason it's become mainstream A-OK to say horrible awful shit about men that would you get you banned/shitcanned/ostracized if you said ti about anyone else. esp in liberal/left groupthink.

    it's entire the same discourse as neoNazis and all that too... just replace jew/black with white straight men.

    this sort of stuff gets downvoted incessantly in leftist spaces which is a damn shame bc i feel like a lot of these places are my home to a certain degree. it makes me feel unwelcome. ik that’s like, the fucking point and why they do it but still.

    these sorts of people are just on some weird, misguided, revanchist agenda that necessitates getting “revenge” on certain groups of people instead of sticking with the core principles of the ideology which clearly state that you should kindly refrain from being an asshole. there is nothing to be gained from exacting some revenge fantasy upon straight white men. you’re exactly right, the only people who deserve to have shit flung their way over who they are is the rich and powerful.

  • But that's not what we're talking about

    Men statically run the most businesses, hold the management positions and other seats of authority so they're the ones dictating and deciding things in the world. That's the disparity, not wealth

    rich men do those things. poor men do not.

    so do rich women.

  • Probably the closest space any guy could get is AA or NA meetings.

    what do these abbreviations stand for?

    alcoholics anonymous and narcotics anonymous

  • From the commenter above talking about negative experiences with talking to women and female therapists, I think the real solution is that men need to be proactive about supporting each other. Ranting and raving about how women are terrible and don't know how to help men with an undercurrent of expectations that women (especially a romantic partner) should fix everything is simply not a tenable mindset.

    As a woman who works in the medical field, I am keenly aware of my limitations when it comes to helping men with mental health issues. I think the real, effective solution is for men to start opening up to each other and supporting each other the way that women tend to do among themselves. I don't mean this as "oh, men are terrible and they need to fuck off somewhere else with their problems", I mean it as a sincere belief that the best people to help a man through emotional or psychological problems are probably other men given the shared socialization and perspective.

    we need more male therapists and teachers. that's what we need.

    we have systematically removed male teachers from the school system due to the pedophilia panic.

  • I'm here to talk if you need an ear man, I understand you and it sounds like you've been through your own personal brand of shit

    Edit: Made a com where you can talk more freely without judgement /c/reprieve@lemmy.zip

    appreciate the offer king. i might check in and occasionally participate in the comm, i like the idea.

    my main concern is ensuring there isn’t a weird invasion of the space by neofascists. that’s the main issue with men’s rights spaces currently. it doesn’t seem easy to prevent as every such space i come across has this problem. the exact thing we identify as hating here pervades spaces trying to tackle this problem… something of a catch 22.

    i fucking adore the naming, tho. reprieve is exactly what we all need. i think you should really lean into the abandonment of identity and related identity politics for this community. it shouldn’t be about men in particular, it’s about a reprieve from this shitty contemporary world we have grown up into. after all, race or sex or whatever aren’t even real… they’re just arbitrary lines that cultures draw upon the world. important to individuals maybe, yes, but i’ve always felt it to be something of an albatross around the left’s neck. not all right-wing criticisms of “identity politics” are necessarily unwarranted… (😬 oopsie i broke the groupthink too hard that time guys o nooooos 🙈)

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  • Catbox.moe got screwed 😿

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    archrecord@lemm.eeA
    I'll gladly give you a reason. I'm actually happy to articulate my stance on this, considering how much I tend to care about digital rights. Services that host files should not be held responsible for what users upload, unless: The service explicitly caters to illegal content by definition or practice (i.e. the if the website is literally titled uploadyourcsamhere[.]com then it's safe to assume they deliberately want to host illegal content) The service has a very easy mechanism to remove illegal content, either when asked, or through simple monitoring systems, but chooses not to do so (catbox does this, and quite quickly too) Because holding services responsible creates a whole host of negative effects. Here's some examples: Someone starts a CDN and some users upload CSAM. The creator of the CDN goes to jail now. Nobody ever wants to create a CDN because of the legal risk, and thus the only providers of CDNs become shady, expensive, anonymously-run services with no compliance mechanisms. You run a site that hosts images, and someone decides they want to harm you. They upload CSAM, then report the site to law enforcement. You go to jail. Anybody in the future who wants to run an image sharing site must now self-censor to try and not upset any human being that could be willing to harm them via their site. A social media site is hosting the posts and content of users. In order to be compliant and not go to jail, they must engage in extremely strict filtering, otherwise even one mistake could land them in jail. All users of the site are prohibited from posting any NSFW or even suggestive content, (including newsworthy media, such as an image of bodies in a warzone) and any violation leads to an instant ban, because any of those things could lead to a chance of actually illegal content being attached. This isn't just my opinion either. Digital rights organizations such as the Electronic Frontier Foundation have talked at length about similar policies before. To quote them: "When social media platforms adopt heavy-handed moderation policies, the unintended consequences can be hard to predict. For example, Twitter’s policies on sexual material have resulted in posts on sexual health and condoms being taken down. YouTube’s bans on violent content have resulted in journalism on the Syrian war being pulled from the site. It can be tempting to attempt to “fix” certain attitudes and behaviors online by placing increased restrictions on users’ speech, but in practice, web platforms have had more success at silencing innocent people than at making online communities healthier." Now, to address the rest of your comment, since I don't just want to focus on the beginning: I think you have to actively moderate what is uploaded Catbox does, and as previously mentioned, often at a much higher rate than other services, and at a comparable rate to many services that have millions, if not billions of dollars in annual profits that could otherwise be spent on further moderation. there has to be swifter and stricter punishment for those that do upload things that are against TOS and/or illegal. The problem isn't necessarily the speed at which people can be reported and punished, but rather that the internet is fundamentally harder to track people on than real life. It's easy for cops to sit around at a spot they know someone will be physically distributing illegal content at in real life, but digitally, even if you can see the feed of all the information passing through the service, a VPN or Tor connection will anonymize your IP address in a manner that most police departments won't be able to track, and most three-letter agencies will simply have a relatively low success rate with. There's no good solution to this problem of identifying perpetrators, which is why platforms often focus on moderation over legal enforcement actions against users so frequently. It accomplishes the goal of preventing and removing the content without having to, for example, require every single user of the internet to scan an ID (and also magically prevent people from just stealing other people's access tokens and impersonating their ID) I do agree, however, that we should probably provide larger amounts of funding, training, and resources, to divisions who's sole goal is to go after online distribution of various illegal content, primarily that which harms children, because it's certainly still an issue of there being too many reports to go through, even if many of them will still lead to dead ends. I hope that explains why making file hosting services liable for user uploaded content probably isn't the best strategy. I hate to see people with good intentions support ideas that sound good in practice, but in the end just cause more untold harms, and I hope you can understand why I believe this to be the case.