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A Tech Rule That Will ‘Future-Proof’ Your Kids

Technology
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  • I understand that it is harder to bond to someone who isn't immediately digitally available. I understand that "kids these days! " do their social stuff online, but at the same time, they seem to have largely lost all skill at interacting with real humans of slight or no aquaintence.

    It is easy to make sarcastic comments on your phone about how stupid this or that is. The sterotypical basement dweller can snark all day. What takes social skill is actively engaging with people you don't care about and finding common ground.

    Yes, digital people track some of this on facebook and such, but in real life: in which community groups do they participate? Do they know what their neighbors do and what they like beyond snapshots of events? That is: yeah, they saw that pic of that cookout, but did they know that he volunteer teaches English as a second language Tuesday and Thursday at the library? When was the last time they went into a neighbor's home (or had one visit theirs) to share a cup of coffee and complain about that road that needs fixing and who to push about it?

    Edited to replace 'you' with 'they' so there'd be no confusion that I mean multiple 'you' readers rather than a single person.

    I don't think you understand. Would it be nice if society was less dependant on phones for everything social? Sure. It is your kid's responsibility to evangelize to their peers that they have to? Absolutely not.

    This isn't a societal question. This is about affording a kid a social life at all. If a kid doesn't have a phone when all their peers have one, there's no "oh well simply only go to events that are shared on something else than phones", because there are no such events. There's no "oh well only socialize with people who will make the effort to only have conversations in person", because there will be at best one kid in the entire school that also doesn't have a phone (hint: they'll be the "weird" kid).

    This is equivalent to your parents saying "you may only talk to people at school, you aren't allowed to talk to anyone once you leave school." Surely you understand that this is a surefire way to completely ostracize and socially stunt your kid, and for what benefit? The only thing you gain is that you get to not parent your kid about safe internet use, a thing you really should be doing anyway because they're going to get internet access at some point.

  • You'll need to use a smartphone for most jobs nowadays, even just random dude in a supermarket.

    Maybe not a smartphone, I mean you can still use calls and texts to call out sick answer calls about job interviews.

    But yeah you're not wrong in that smartphone do make life a lot smoother. For example if you want to check your payroll and w2 info, that is gonna require an app on a smartphone, and some of them even requires an app for 2fa because of (supposedly) the increase in fraud, and banking and job applications, while you don't need a smartphone for those, you're still gonna need access to a computer, so for someone without a computer, might as well get a smartphone instead of a dumbphone + a computer.

  • My kid is 3 but this has been a big issue on my mind lately. I’ve read The Anxious Generation, The Screentime Solution, and The Art of Screentime over the past 9 months (with some other tech-adjacent books). My husband has also recently had a turn-around on tech for kids. I think our big thing is no personal devices for the little one for a long time. Family computer in a common area. Family cellphone that can be used when she’s not with us. Family tv in the living room. Family iPad that is used for specific tasks.

    I recommend reading this article if you’re worried about this https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2025/08/kids-smartphones-play-freedom/683742/

  • Maybe not a smartphone, I mean you can still use calls and texts to call out sick answer calls about job interviews.

    But yeah you're not wrong in that smartphone do make life a lot smoother. For example if you want to check your payroll and w2 info, that is gonna require an app on a smartphone, and some of them even requires an app for 2fa because of (supposedly) the increase in fraud, and banking and job applications, while you don't need a smartphone for those, you're still gonna need access to a computer, so for someone without a computer, might as well get a smartphone instead of a dumbphone + a computer.

    No, many jobs even trivial ones give you company phones so you can look stuff up, do inventory management etc

  • No, many jobs even trivial ones give you company phones so you can look stuff up, do inventory management etc

    Are you in EU? Because in America, that's not the norm.

    To clarify, they do provide devices for things you do on the job, like scanning inventory for example, but not for the stuff you do outside of the job, stuff like checking your pay statements, schedule, and to call in sick, that's expected to be done on your own devices, because that's technically not needed for the job itself, even though its practically needed as a prerequisite for getting that job in the first place (Because how are you gonna fill out your job application? They don't even take paper applications anymore, its all done online. You'll need a phone number and some companies require an email address as well).

    If your phone breaks after you got the job, that's fine, you probably won't have any problems if you work at a warehouse or fastfood place, but just hope you don't get sick and need that phone to call them (because "no call, no show" get you fired).

  • Great article, thx

  • I don't think you understand. Would it be nice if society was less dependant on phones for everything social? Sure. It is your kid's responsibility to evangelize to their peers that they have to? Absolutely not.

    This isn't a societal question. This is about affording a kid a social life at all. If a kid doesn't have a phone when all their peers have one, there's no "oh well simply only go to events that are shared on something else than phones", because there are no such events. There's no "oh well only socialize with people who will make the effort to only have conversations in person", because there will be at best one kid in the entire school that also doesn't have a phone (hint: they'll be the "weird" kid).

    This is equivalent to your parents saying "you may only talk to people at school, you aren't allowed to talk to anyone once you leave school." Surely you understand that this is a surefire way to completely ostracize and socially stunt your kid, and for what benefit? The only thing you gain is that you get to not parent your kid about safe internet use, a thing you really should be doing anyway because they're going to get internet access at some point.

    This is equivalent to your parents saying "you may only talk to people at school

    You've got my point backwards. I'm saying kids would be better prepared for life if they talked to people, and particularly if they talked to people they don't particularly care about rather than only swapping phone memes with kids they already know. Also, no one is saying there should be a complete ban on phones. The article simply suggests keeping the bedroom screen-free (better for sleep, studying, etc.). I went further to point out that as we've become more 'social' on phones we're less social in society.

  • Are you in EU? Because in America, that's not the norm.

    To clarify, they do provide devices for things you do on the job, like scanning inventory for example, but not for the stuff you do outside of the job, stuff like checking your pay statements, schedule, and to call in sick, that's expected to be done on your own devices, because that's technically not needed for the job itself, even though its practically needed as a prerequisite for getting that job in the first place (Because how are you gonna fill out your job application? They don't even take paper applications anymore, its all done online. You'll need a phone number and some companies require an email address as well).

    If your phone breaks after you got the job, that's fine, you probably won't have any problems if you work at a warehouse or fastfood place, but just hope you don't get sick and need that phone to call them (because "no call, no show" get you fired).

    I meant on the job. So people need smartphone skills to get a job. That's what I meant.

  • Try reading this article, VPNs don't make you more private they just shift the trust model away from your ISP https://www.matyaskoszegi.com/post/vpns-your-privacy-savior-or-just-another-creepy-middleman

  • The anxious generation sucks. The author's even admitted that the screens aren't at fault, it's adults banning kids playing outside. Then then get anxious and depressed and they use their phones as a substitution for what we banned

    I did not enjoy the anxious generation book. There were a few small parts that I liked, but it’s why I started reading other books instead. My school district was all about the anxious generation and wanted us to read it. I did, but wanted a broader perspective.

  • I definitely plan to allow as much freedom as developmentally appropriate as she gets older. As it is now I try to make sure she has time to play independently and with friends and I try to not intervene too much when she has minor issues. She has even asked for privacy or that she wants to be by herself and I always respect that within reasonable limits.

  • Why will a kid need to open an online bank account?

    I mean there are plenty of legitimate reasons. If you want to give your child financial autonomy so that it can learn to budget, I think an online bank account may be a good idea.

    But I don't get the OPs point though, many banks offer adult-managed accounts until majority that only need an ID, not a face scan.

  • This is equivalent to your parents saying "you may only talk to people at school

    You've got my point backwards. I'm saying kids would be better prepared for life if they talked to people, and particularly if they talked to people they don't particularly care about rather than only swapping phone memes with kids they already know. Also, no one is saying there should be a complete ban on phones. The article simply suggests keeping the bedroom screen-free (better for sleep, studying, etc.). I went further to point out that as we've become more 'social' on phones we're less social in society.

    Very cool societal ideas. Please do not have children.