Skip to content

Men are opening up about mental health to AI instead of humans

Technology
324 138 0
  • I can kinda understand the appeal. An AI isn't gonna judge you, an AI isn't gonna leave a mean comment or tell you to get over it and man up. It's giving an unnerving amount of personal information to corporations, but I can sympathise with the thoughts these men are having.

    An AI isn’t gonna judge you,

    Guess what is happening with that chat history.

  • A profound relational revolution is underway, not orchestrated by tech developers but driven by users themselves. Many of the 400 million weekly users of ChatGPT are seeking more than just assistance with emails or information on food safety; they are looking for emotional support.

    “Therapy and companionship” have emerged as two of the most frequent applications for generative AI globally, according to the Harvard Business Review. This trend marks a significant, unplanned pivot in how people interact with technology.

    Unironically the "Men will do X besides going to therapy" meme

  • Unironically the "Men will do X besides going to therapy" meme

    Even therapists are suffering these days. It’s just more challenging than it’s ever been to gaslight clients into believing their concerns about the world aren’t objectively true and instead the symptom of an internal struggle.

  • I can kinda understand the appeal. An AI isn't gonna judge you, an AI isn't gonna leave a mean comment or tell you to get over it and man up. It's giving an unnerving amount of personal information to corporations, but I can sympathise with the thoughts these men are having.

    It might even, gasp, offer solutions.

  • Become a rich jacked sociopath.

    That’s most manly thing you can do apparently.

    Sorry, I will pursue happiness instead

  • I never said it was the US, do rules and regulations governing doctors behavior not exist in your country?

    IDK, really. As I said, I left the country where this psychiatrist lives.

  • I see a lot of people in this thread reacting with open hostility and derailment every time men's issues are mentioned. Have you tried not being a part of the problem?

    Allowing men’s issues to even be addressed risks giving legitimacy to the fact that these issues even exist. And if they exist, men can no longer be that evil monolith that exists only to be torn down and used as the cause for whatever is wrong with the world.

    After all, the zero-sum game must be properly reinforced with an appropriate evil that cannot be allowed to have any weaknesses or redeeming attributes.

  • A profound relational revolution is underway, not orchestrated by tech developers but driven by users themselves. Many of the 400 million weekly users of ChatGPT are seeking more than just assistance with emails or information on food safety; they are looking for emotional support.

    “Therapy and companionship” have emerged as two of the most frequent applications for generative AI globally, according to the Harvard Business Review. This trend marks a significant, unplanned pivot in how people interact with technology.

    So somewhere they feel safe to do so. Says something pretty fucked up about our culture that men don't feel safe to open up anywhere. And no, it's not their own fault.

  • therapy does not have to be expensive.

    around 70% of my caseload is Medicaid and they don't pay a dime. the remainder is mostly DOC (prison), they only pay if we charge No Show fee. so they pay to not go to therapy. There's 1-2 people who are funded by the county. they pay a $7 copay per session

    Therapy isn't expensive, luigi is.

    As far as efficacy, we don't even have data suggesting AI therapy is effective. we have ample data, however, showing that the most important part of therapy is not what you do but the relationship itself. not individual efforts. so your theory about what therapy does for us is wrong. there's no relationship with an LLM. we have no reason to believe it would be any better than a paper journal and a CBT worksheet.

    therapy does not have to be expensive.

    But it is though.

    Your medicaid patients?

    Poor. By definition.

    Sure they might not pay a copay, but they pay for it in gas money to get to that visit, their barely running car now breaking down from visiting you, time off work they can't really afford, time filling out reams and reams of fucking paperwork to be able to qualify for anything, likely when they're already in a mentally comprimised condition to some extent... its all very stressful.

    Which is very bad for mental health.

    we have no reason to believe it would be any better than a paper journal and a CBT worksheet.

    And the part you don't want to admit (at least here) is that ... that's actually quite helpful in and of itself for a lot of people.

    Have a few sessions with a live, in person therapist, to teach you CBT, give you the paperwork, walk you through it.

    Not all, but many people can take it by themselves from there, and not need to keep wasting time and energy on continually requalifying for medicaid, getting to and from psych appointments, dealing with scheduling delays and unavailability, etc.

    Yep, a lot of people are also helped by basically just having someone to be able to talk to and feel heard.

    But... that's often doable by just making either a friend or even casual acquaintance with someone who is capable of, and has the capacity for reflexive empathy.

    Much less stress and paperwork involved there.

    And also yes, some people with much more serious issues need much more serious help.

    Unfortunately, the entire medical system in the US is utterly broken, and the only real solution is having a system that ... isn't broken, so that comprehensive screening and diagnosis is easily available without huge delays and costs... and more broadly, those people need to have the first two levels of maslow's hierarchy of needs taken care of.

    But currently our society basically just takes those people and throws them into the streets, evicts them, forecloses on them, incarcerates them.

    There simply is no systemic way to help those people without major systemic changes... and those ain't happening, they're moving in the opposite direction.

    ...

    The problem with LLMs as therapy is that they are wildly overconfident, agreeable to the point of encouraging delusions and dangerous behavior, they hallucinate facts that aren't real... and they are not actually capable of legitimate critical thinking or reasoning.

    They also will not introduce you to concepts you have never heard of before which you do not know are or could be very useful, unless you directly ask them to do that, and even then... they obviously are not experts themselves and may suggest dubious ideas.

    But also, at the same time... people often do form what they will describe as meaningful relationships with an LLM. So... its not that 'it doesn't happen', its that its a psuedorelationship, a fascimile of a relationship, lacks in person interaction, a real human modulating their intonation, having micro expressions, body language, etc etc.

  • Sounds like the smart and sensible thing to do tbh, opening up to people in this day and age is just suicide

    This is the absolute worst time to hand over all of your issues/fears over to any data collection companies. We're spiralling into fascism and data collection is going to be their best tool to attempt to control us.

  • I think we may be (re)-discovering the appeal of monotheistic religions, and why they hew patriarchal.

    On average, men desperately need more mental health resources. But, on average, they are not comfortable building that with other men, and it often isn't appropriate or effective to lean on their female significant other (if a straight man).

    So - enter the primary description of 'God'. Can listen any time but will always forgive, is super masculine but won't emasculate you, and has never told another soul what you are thinking.

    AI is always available and is unlikely to emasculate anyone, but that third item... Well, we'll see where this goes.

    You've basically just described "confession". You go into a little box designed to make it as difficult as possible for the priest to identify you, you talk about all the ways you feel like you're a bad person, and the priest talks to you for a while about it, then gives you some actionable items to make amends and once you've done them God officially forgives you. The whole concept of confession is designed to allow people to let go of their regrets and live in the now. It's actually quite clever as a bit of societal design. If modern priests had psychotherapy degrees then everyone in the world would have access to free therapy - unfortunately they wouldn't be very useful for LGBT+ people.

  • 🤔

    That’s interesting… had never seen it put that way before…

    It’s almost like telling men that it’s okay to show your feelings is bullshit lol

    Do you think this therapist is trying to market therapy and increase his business? I also think the same 🤨

    /j

  • I think we may be (re)-discovering the appeal of monotheistic religions, and why they hew patriarchal.

    On average, men desperately need more mental health resources. But, on average, they are not comfortable building that with other men, and it often isn't appropriate or effective to lean on their female significant other (if a straight man).

    So - enter the primary description of 'God'. Can listen any time but will always forgive, is super masculine but won't emasculate you, and has never told another soul what you are thinking.

    AI is always available and is unlikely to emasculate anyone, but that third item... Well, we'll see where this goes.

    Lol see where it goes? If you think these AI companies, that are very publicly bleeding money, aren't selling your data out for pennies on the dollar, you're just keeping your head in the sand.

  • won’t ruin your career

    Granted, but it still will suck a fuck ton of coal produced electricity.

    One chat request to an LLM produces about as much CO2 as burning one droplet of gasoline (if it was from coal fired power, less if it comes from cleaner sources). It makes far less CO2 to talk to a chatbot for hours upon hours than a ten minute drive to see a therapist once a week.

  • I did, but your main assertion that therapists are women, women don't understand the male perspective therefore mental healthcare for men, (like talk therapy and counseling) are ineffective. Is not just completely wrong, it is dangerous. You start talking about how gendered biases effect the outcome of therapy. Ignoring that psychology is an incredibly complex, extremely well-documented, highly diverse and well regarded field of study, That's like saying you wouldn't trust a female virtuoso guitarist to perform 'Master of Puppets' because her female perspective would bias her against playing a solo written by a man. I am a man, I have had some success in therapy and counseling. I need more work, I'll admit. But, all of the best practitioners I have worked with have been women. If you go to counseling, with a social worker, or a master's student in psychology, yeah that can be a bit dodgy. But the idea that a registered psychotherapist, a doctor, would not be able to provide effective treatment because women can't understand men is absolutely petulant. It is a myth, pervaded by a lot of influential male voices online and pop-psychology. It misunderstands the whole purpose of talk therapy and then it's mis-characterised as "giving advice" and "putting biases in your head." When psychotherapists are literally just there to help you confront and come to terms with things that you identify are affecting your ability to live. This stupid argument is always propped up by the same idea of women not being able to understand the male perspective, goes hand-in-hand with reported instances of mental health disorders. When really, the disparity between the sexes in terms of reported mental issues, is actually because people make arguments like yours. They say "all therapists are women and women don't understand the male perspective" and "women report higher levels of depression and anxiety, therefore mood disorders are women's issues." When, in fact, it is men that dominate the field of psychotherapy, psychology and psychiatry. It is also us men that are killing themselves in record numbers, it is us that drive cars into street markets, it is us that shoot into crowds of people and then turn the gun on ourselves and it is boys that go online and see men like you. Making these harmful, disingenuous, ignorant arguments that makes them believe that their mental health is unimportant and that any pain, or issue they are having difficulty with is their problem and a flaw in themselves. Which just leads to self-victimisation.

    I have read your comment, I have read all of your comments in this thread and your rhetoric is not just wholly emblematic of someone who has never done any meaningful work in therapy, it is dangerous and invalidating to kids who don't have the experience and don't know any better. That's why you expand your argument, from "women therapists" to the entire field, because then it goes from sexist nonsense, to a broader discussion on the existence of human bias in the field. Conveniently, then you don't have to confront the obvious flaws in what you're saying. Personally, I wouldn't trust someone, who has never so much as opened a textbook on abnormal psychology, to be a great judge of the existence of gendered biases in contemporary psychological care. I swear, if more men could be brave enough to admit that we endure psychological strain and experience issues through that strain that manifest in ways that effect our lives, we wouldn't have Trump. Roe V Wade would be codified. So many of today's problems exist because of the stigma round men seeking professional help with their mental health. So, yes I read your whole comment, I recognise your arguments and your perspectives. I say they are categoriaclly prejudiced, unhelpful, disingenuous and dangerous. When young men see this stuff and haven't developed a sense of identity yet, they adopt this. Because this is what they think they're supposed to believe, because boys look to contemporary male ideas and figures to emulate what they perceive to be masculinity. That's how you get idiots on the Internet trying to discredit what is arguably the single most needed field of medicine in the world right now. When those men face crises, in their lives and need help, where do they go? If the main medical avenue of psychotherapy is seen as weak, or feminine or ineffective. Where do they go? That's how you normalise male loneliness and hopelessness. You make young men feel like no one can understand what they're going through, or help them understand themselves and navigate it. That is how you get drug addicts, that is how you get alcoholics. That's how you get radicalisation, incels, domestic terrorists and victims of suicide. So, maybe just stop with the whole injustice over the feeling of being a man whose feelings are not understood. "But therapy doesn't work, because nobody can understand me bro" and actually go to therapy. It might help you empathise with other people's perspectives, perhaps you could analyse why you have these uninformed beliefs about this field of healthcare.

    Which you seem so impassioned about discrediting and maybe it could even help you understand why it feels like no one gets you. Why you feel this is the correct way to approach mental health issues. The effect your words have on the well-being of impressionable members of our sex and what that stigmatisation of mental health problems and empathetic emotional recognition means, for men as a whole. What it means for our feelings about our place in society. It would help all of us, a lot more, than you maligning being told to "man up" whilst also perpetuating the concept of "man up" by spreading actual lies that psychotherapy doesn't work for men. If society's view of male mental health is so troubling to you. Maybe, don't regurgitate misinformation about mental health that specifically invalidates the feelings and experiences of men struggling with addiction, or trauma, or grief, or psychological disturbance? Men, who would otherwise be comfortable enough in their masculinity and strong enough emotionally, to admit they have a problem to seek out professional help. Mental healthcare is healthcare, it is not a moral failing, personal flaw, or emasculating experience. If you actually gave a shit about men's issues you'd understand that. Instead of just, first, trying to sound above it (by being incorrect about what therapy is and largely sexist), then posturing victimhood by co-opting men's issues and trying to make the conversation about how society disregards male feelings and how nobody gets us. Your feelings are your own and you can feel however you'd like about anything. But you don't preface that it's your feelings, or your opinion based on shit you have absorbed from other male figures and spaces. You say this is how it is, before saying that therapists are women who are biased against men. Which is not true and reinforces this idea that men and women are completely diametrically opposed opposites and not just humans with the same breadth of emotions and very similar psychological conditions. Bi-polar depression doesn't care what genitals you have. Trauma effects everyone. Mental health is NOT a gendered issue. Your reasoning throughout this entire thread is deeply flawed, divisive and doesn't even make sense. If you feel like nobody cares about men's feelings and men's psychological and social issues, why is your position to take away one of the only recognised avenues by which men who are suffering can have those issues validated and explore their feelings in a safe, non-judgemental way? That is what you do when you lie like that and misrepresent the purpose and efficacy of psychotherapy.

    You argue for positions directly in opposition to men's issues. It's quite extraordinary. I doubt everything you say about your experiences with therapy, just based on how you talk about it as a gendered issue. Also, the idea that people with biases put ideas in your head. Which is genuinely, just a fallacious red-pill talking point, that completely goes against the process and purpose of talk therapy. It allows men to live in denial about their actions and feelings and also validate those insecurities because nobody understands the male position, society doesn't care and it's not our fault. Which is all well and good, until your misrepresentation leads to someone's death. So, I'll say it again.

    Incel Talk

    Godamn son, didn't have to nuke him

    Well put, though.

  • You know what i see? Men being afraid of going alone with their kid to the park, because the mom's there believe they are a sexual predator just by gender. Men not appliying for kindergarden or school jobs because of a tendency of mothers to see every man in childcare as a pedophile. Men getting called the cops onto them in the parking lot when going to their car after shopping.

    And it's the same with violence against women - every man is automatically seen as a brutalizer, or someone who would daterape.

    As long as those prejudices exist - and they are mainly female prejudices! - men will not open up. When you are seen as a threat even if you aren't one (see the man and the bear in the woods), there is no way they will become empathic, because innocently playing with your child in the park could have lifelong consequences for you.

    Either you don't talk to women or you have some insecurities you need to reconcile.

    I'm sure some of this exists in some people, but this isn't the whole of reality.

    I don't give a single fuck what happens when I open up, and if anyone around me doesn't like it, I do not give a shit.

    Just be yourself unapologetically, and if the people around you don't like it, find new people. And this isn't to say be that person that's always just a giant shithead and go "I'm just blunt, I say it like it is, I've always been this way so it's fine" What I mean is be kind, be yourself, talk about your emotions, communicate, and if you can't do that around the people you know, fix whatever hangups you have with yourself in doing that, or fix the people around you.

  • Everyone else is blaming women for how men act. You disagree?

    One guy said women raise boys, so it's their fault.

    Another said therapy only works for women and suggested women aren't under any social pressure.

    You think those are intelligent, well thought arguments? Because they're stupid.

    This comments section is fucking bonkers, I have never been close to a situation where any of these scenarios played out in real life.

  • Either you don't talk to women or you have some insecurities you need to reconcile.

    I'm sure some of this exists in some people, but this isn't the whole of reality.

    I don't give a single fuck what happens when I open up, and if anyone around me doesn't like it, I do not give a shit.

    Just be yourself unapologetically, and if the people around you don't like it, find new people. And this isn't to say be that person that's always just a giant shithead and go "I'm just blunt, I say it like it is, I've always been this way so it's fine" What I mean is be kind, be yourself, talk about your emotions, communicate, and if you can't do that around the people you know, fix whatever hangups you have with yourself in doing that, or fix the people around you.

    Most of my friends are women, i have more issues with men than women; and they also aren't judging when i open up. But i know that they aren't representative.

    The issue is that it only takes one overzealous woman to ruin a mans life in the US: having trouble with cops on the playground, losing a job over social media accusations without proof - at least for the large majority of men. (things are different when we look at people in power, where hard facts aren't enough to remove them - this enrages me just as much as any woman)

    In that way, women are as much an aggressor as men are, it's just that their tools are different. Where a aggressive man might tend to physical violence, aggressive women are able to dish it out with social violence.

    I just wanted to show up that painting men as the source of all evil is shortsighted. There are a lot of women applying pressure to keep men in the role they are in, cementing the patriarchate just as much as men are.

    And why shouldn't they? If you don't want to work outside of passion projects, or want to be a homemaker while your husband brings in the money? If you shy away from responsibility and feel safer when a strong father figure decides? Or being fine with men being in charge, as long as they have control over their husband? Those lifestyles are all valid too, and they profit directly from the patriarchate in one way or another, even if it might not be healthy at all.

    There is no (or next to none) help for men to step outside of this structure. I am totally for helping women to get their rightful place side by side to men, but there also has to be a discussion about how not only men are oppressing everyone, but also how women are using their tools to oppress everyone, and how it is harmful to just paint one side as the perpetrator here.

    There also should be more of an discourse about how life and values for men should look after achieving equality, because just replacing the patriarchate with an matriarchate is not gonna cut it.

  • Lol see where it goes? If you think these AI companies, that are very publicly bleeding money, aren't selling your data out for pennies on the dollar, you're just keeping your head in the sand.

    I've been asking Google Gemini weird and stupid trivia questions just to burn the world down faster.

  • So somewhere they feel safe to do so. Says something pretty fucked up about our culture that men don't feel safe to open up anywhere. And no, it's not their own fault.

    And no, it’s not their own fault.

    Of course it is, men are cool targets to hate, get with the program.